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Expressing repressed violence in an intense but inoffensive manner

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Ok and now for the answer to the previous post.

Steven Pinker, MIT psychology professor, writes in his book The Blank Slate that behavioral geneticists have assembled prodigious research proving that human tendencies, talents, and the like are determined biologically and that newborns are fully fledged beings with the personalities already intact and not 'blank slates' to be inscribed by their culture, their companions, their experiences etc.

He also writes that the 5 major ways in which human personality can vary are all 'heritable'-that is, inborn. They include "openess to experience, conscientiousness, extroversion-introversion, antagonism-agreeableness and neuroticism."

So, this being said, the way we all are, the way we behave, our personalities blah blah blah ARE ours before birth.

Yupp, we can safely tell people ''im born like that".

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 4 comments links to this post

12/14/2006 09:43:00 AM


Sunday, December 10, 2006

Whenever someone asks, "Eh, why the hell are you like that?" or "Charissa, why are you so stubborn?" or "Why the fuck are you so nonchalant??", I'd usually answer with a very short and to-the-point reply-Im born like that.
And then before I know it, Im slammed with 'I know better' remarks by them, "Noone is born already programmed with personalities or characters or whatever,Charissa." my question is, This way we are, our personalities and characters and talents, are they ours before birth?

Think about this for awhile...I'll give you the answer on err, say, Tuesday.

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 1 comments links to this post

12/10/2006 09:54:00 AM


MRT stations are suicide-friendly

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

My insomnia is hellava bad I feel like crying 'cause im irritated as fuck. Ive tried ways and means to try and get some slumber but to no friggin avail! WTF!

Various articles: Block out light in your room. The darkness will induce sleep.
Me: My room IS dark! Ok, so no help here

Various articles: Read a book before bedtime.
Me: I read alot. And when I get into reading mode, I only stop when Im done with the book.

Ian: Drink a glass of milk before you sleep. There's something in it that induces sleep.
Me: I tried last night. I ended up from my room, to parents' room, to the living room and back to my room again.

Various articles: Get a new pillow or mattress.
Me: I recently got a new pillow and though it did help me sleep well, it was only for one fuckin day. As for the mattress, mom says she's buying me a new one. A smaller one at that. How the hell am I gonna get used to sleepin on a super single bed? I dunno, but I shall. Anyhow, as of now, I dont believe the problem lies with my mattress 'cause I also have trouble sleepin everywhere in my house. I only didnt try the kitchen.

Levan: The best way is to get up and drink coffee and ride it out until you cant stand it. Surely can sleep. I have insomnia all the time.
Me:'re nocturnal. But whatever. So Im supposed to drink coffee, ride it out for say, 3-4 days and then sleep well for 1 bloody day and the cycle repeats itself?

Various articles: Dont drink or eat just before bedtime.
Me: I dont.

Chalk: Have sex.
Me: So you want me to have sex every night?

Bernard: There's this sleepin pill that is very strong. I'll bring it for you when I get back to Singapore.
Me: Like, HURRY!!!

Me: I think I need valium. I just need to find the damned presciption from 3 years ago, which I believe is kept by my mom who sure as hell doesnt want me taking those stuff 'cause she says they're addictive. Right, but if i dont get any sleep now, I think screaming at people and hallucinating and what have yous will be addictive.

Me: I cant draw, I cant write, I cant think right, I cant stay focused, I cant analyze well. I feel like taking my head and have it collide head on with an oncoming train or something.

Oh, and speakin of which. What is it with deaths and MRTs these days??? Ever since that freak accident sometime back where a man(who happens to be my sister's friend's dad btw) went head on with a train 'cause he was trying to recover his shoe that got stuck in the tracks, there have been many incidents involving the human and the train. As if that man became a source of inspiration to many Singaporeans. See, mom came home just now from a half day's work and said someone tried to commit suicide at Yishun MRT station in the mornin. If I were to dig up all the reported cases in the last 2 years of either suicide on train tracks or accidental death at MRT station or brush with death at train tracks, Im sure I would need 2 hands to count.

I think SMRT should consider installing safety barriers along the platforms at each station. Especially around the Bishan area. Hell, make it Bishan, Ang Mo Kio, Yishun or something. I dont want to count how many train deaths had occured at Bishan.

So, it seems the people living in the northern area of Singapore are suicide-prone. Or is it that those of whom are suicidal come to the north to splatter crimson on glass windows of fast moving transportations and disrupt the peace and ease of traffic of commuters?

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12/05/2006 11:28:00 AM


Saturday, December 02, 2006

This time of the year never fails to see lotsa changes in my house. If it aint newly-painted walls, it's rearranged furniture; or new ones. And my room contributes to a good 70% of the change, seeing as how I constantly, and randomly at that, redecorate or reshuffle stuff in my sanctuary. So im lying on my bed, taking in all that Im seeing as a means of gathering inspiration for my next project when I decided to do some pre- spring cleaning and trash out stuff that dont belong anymore-stuff from ex boyfriends, stuff that have proved unworthy over the months blah blah blah. And in my AUTHORISED PERSONNEL ONLY red box, I found relics from 8 years ago! OMFG. Photos from secondary school and the like. Shit ass! I remember how Gayle and I would walk around school with branded socks and have them destroyed with red marker by our form teacher for flouting the school rules. Sometimes we were so proud of it 'cause we were the only xiao char bors in the entire school with 'markered' socks. And my batch of girls were the ones who instigated the invention of the PINK SKIRT, invented for repeat offenders who dont wear the school belt properly i.e at the waist. Dang, this PINK SKIRT will go down in history. Funny assed stuff. We were the first ones to don the skirt and instead of feeling repentant or ashamed, we felt fuckin good and made the punishment seem like a fashion statement, what with the funky-colored sports bras or lingeries under our white blouses.

I remember how on 2nd January, the first day of school, I got sent home barely 2 minutes of my walking into the school hall for having brown hair and was told to not come back till I dyed it back(what my discipline mistress really meant was to go home, have my hair dyed black and come back by recess time). So I happily went home and slept and went back to school only the next day.

In November one year when exams were over, I dyed my hair fuschia and wore nothing but black. Black top, black skirt, black boots. Eyeliner was one thing I would feel naked without. oh my friggin gawd. I cant believe I did that. No, actually I can. I was hyper rebellious and non-conforming and punk and goth and what have you. Man, xiang3 dang1 nian2. If school was a retail shop, I would be my discipline mistress's regular customer.

Man, secondary school was hellava fun and being in IJ was hellava cool. I wouldnt have wanted to go to any other school, man. And the greatest feeling is when strangers speak to you and ask, "Were you from IJ?" Its awesome. Its pride beyond words. A Convent girl will always be a Convent girl and and IJ girl can almost always spot another. Thats hot.

Anyways,I dug deeper into the red box and found other relics. No shit. Relics from...just a year ago. Leather cuffs, silver rings, netted blah blahs, black this and black that. OMG and my studded belt! And all my body jewellery! And my tattoo designs! Have I evolved into someone else recently that I almost completely forgot myself? I feel almost immaculate and innocent compared to just 300 days ago. Should I trash all these away? A phone call from Bernard kinda answered it. "You change all the time. One minute you're this and another you're something else. You experiment with things .. But there are some things that will NEVER change."

True that. So, relics from last year ...shall stay. I know I'll be needin 'em some day very soon.

I miss those days man. My Blink 182 and Marilyn Manson and The Cure cds are collectin dust.


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12/02/2006 02:14:00 PM


Wednesday, November 29, 2006

When you say you love something, do you genuinely love it for the object that it is or do you love it because of the feeling it gives you?

This should give you something to think about.

Oh. And don't lie to yourself.

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 0 comments links to this post

11/29/2006 05:05:00 PM

____________________________________________________________________ no..let's call is Charism

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Unwise is one who knows not that he/she doesn't know, but wise is one who does

Charissa Ashley Grace Fernandez (19 June 1983-present)

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11/18/2006 12:08:00 PM


Monday, November 13, 2006

I love rain...but not when it makes me compulsively depressed. And this rainy Monday is doing just that. Its times like these that you know your best friends who'll keep you company are whiskey and cigarettes and Death Cab for Cutie.

Its times like these that fuck your mind, where you'll start thinkin about all the things in life you probably have shelved for the longest time possible. From ex boyfriends and career to money and life per se. And its times like these that coerces you to sit down and ask yourself "What did I do wrong?"

So, what did I do wrong?

I dunno.

Maybe I do. Sometimes, maybe you could ask yourself what you did to make me react in such a way.

But sometimes...

"I don't wanna hurt you
I don't wanna make you sway
Like I know I've done before
I will not do it anymore
I've always been a dreamer
I've had my head among the clouds
And now that I am coming down
Won't you be my solid ground"

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11/13/2006 12:31:00 PM


The Satan Confederation has called for a meeting tomorrow, the day before results of the General Election will be announced.None of the satans agreed to comment but only gave details of the meeting.

Time: 1900 hours
Venue: Breko, Holland Village

It is said to be a private meeting and The S.C strongly urges that paparazzi not be present.

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 0 comments links to this post

11/13/2006 10:33:00 AM


Saturday, November 04, 2006

Dont you just hate it when people always try to suss you out and think they know everything about you based on how you reacted to a particular something which you know isn't you at all? And don't you just hate being stood up not just once? And being lied to? And being picked on for an argument?

Im not perfect but while Im getting there, I will at times piss the hell outta you just like you do me. The only difference is I never did judge you or flare up at you. Period.

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 0 comments links to this post

11/04/2006 11:14:00 AM


you think im maladjusted. well, im adjusted just fine. just not to your frequency.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Some dimwitted humans never fail to get on my nerves, incessantly at that. Its amazing, really, the ways in which they do things, the schools of thought they come from, the fact that whatever they say and do just never, never occurred to them that it was very unethical and unglam and..and...just un.

New word I've invented. Un-. A negative prefix chiefly attached to adjectives, used mainly to describe people who are unworthy of words used even with the limitation of the English language. "I cant stand her behaviour today,like she's a prima donna or something. She's so un.

Anyhow, I was complaining about this certain individual to Levan who then said to look at it in another way and '...laugh at people like that because they will forever be living up to the expectations that come with the territory of pretension."

ha ha ha. I've laughed at people like that for the longest time,man. So much so it's taking a new toll now 'cause the act of mockery is metamorphosing into an act of resentment. But because I live on earth with the Mob (normal human beings who conform to normalcy and deem that anything popular is tantamount to being normal), I have to demagnify the gravity of my resentment and just merely laugh them off and finally sleep on it( 'it' being whatever fuck situation that got me feeling all agitated ) simply because I've had enough of the Mob gawking at me for not thinkin the same way they do, which really only implies that their brains had been installed with the mass-produced microchips that were particularly given to them based on the knowledge that their brains have little or no capacity to oppose or contest or even think out of the box.

So, to put this all very. very simply, I borrow the line from this whoever who wrote it..You Laugh At Me For Being Different. I Laugh At You For Being All The Same

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 0 comments links to this post

11/02/2006 02:15:00 PM


Friday, October 27, 2006

All hail the Princess

Hello Hello!
Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa is back after a somewhat long hiatus. Some dilholes tried to plot my assassination. And both my computers had been corrupted due to malicious virus attacks.

But....all is good now. As you can see, The Satan Confederation General Election has been postponed to a later date. Campaigns are still running in Behnachilan Island, with the emergence of 5 new candidates. The final number of people to form The Satan Confederation in this first election will be announced next week when Parliament seats. Meanwhile, The S.C has been busy with various meet-the-people sessions, gigs, parties as wells as short business trips all in the name of public awareness.

And speakin of parties, The Satan Confederation is holding a first ever Large Scale Private Party to mark The Day Of The Dead, a special annual event for The SC. Called DEATH:NJOY, the party guarantees to send shivers down your spines with morbid and in-your-face decorations. Held at a secret location only the invited guests have privileged knowledge of, DEATH:NJOY will put all other halloween parties to shame. Princess Norica, financial advisor for the party, said that expenses were "kept to a minimum as not much of the decor were actually bought". She declined to comment further but hinted that alot of what you will see in the house are in fact the real deal. King Squid, who will play chef specially for the 2 night event, said food and beverage will all be aptly colored and garnished. Door Witch for the party, Princess Dawn, warns that anyone without original invites WILL BE DENIED ENTRY and urges all 131 guests to arrive early as at midnight, there'll be a tour and live ritual "you fuckin dont wanna miss even if you're having sex with Elvis Presley or Princess Diana".

DEATH:NJOY will start at 9pm on Saturday and Sunday. For Invited Guests ONLY.

Also, a christmas pary jointly organised by The Satan Confederation is underway. Tentatively called PURE, it will be held in the western part of Behnachilan Island and is said to also be a large scale private event with performances by various bands. Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa was unavailable for comment but it seems that this christmas party will be one like no other. Overheard speakin to Princess Dawn during a press conference for DEATH:NJOY, HRH Princess Charissa said, " party will be one fuckin blast of a party everyone wishes to be invited to or be seen at but simply cant".

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 0 comments links to this post

10/27/2006 10:57:00 AM


I'll talk only when I want to

Saturday, October 21, 2006

I really dont understand how some people can be sooooo uber friendly; irritatingly friendly at that.
Too bad man, SATAN aint like them dilholes. I talk only when I want to and ONLY when the person I wanna have a conversation with is worthy and interesting enough. 'Nuff said.

And I think that's all I have to say for now.

Here's a pic with me and act cool. thats hot

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 1 comments links to this post

10/21/2006 10:47:00 PM


Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Ok Ok! Enough of all the sappy drama, shitheads! Let's get back to cock-talkin! wooo hoooo

All you people of Behnachilan Island, LISTEN UP!

GENERAL ELECTION will take place over these 2 weeks.


Thats hot...

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 0 comments links to this post

10/03/2006 05:39:00 PM


Monday, October 02, 2006

Great. I pissed Levan off and misunderstood him while at it. A conversation in which miscommunication took centre stage and caused it to take the wrong step. Absofuckinglutely unintended direction in which the conversation headed.Absofuckinglutely unintended direction in which the conversation concluded. Way to go Charissa,way to go.
And somehow the aftermath feels damn fuckin weird. Tastes bitter. No, tastes like shit. Tastes like I've just eaten feaces the result of having eaten something that gave me bad diarrhoea.

Lesson Learnt Today---Negative plus Negative does not give you Positive

So im lying on my bed doing some self-assessment, which I realise I've put off for a time too long, and by some alchemy Bernard called. Wow,thats hot. 'Cause at this shitty point in time, I need someone to fuck me up and tell me Im wrong. With the voice quality and everything, it really sounded like Bernard's still in Singapore, calling me from Gilstead Road. Boy, do I wish this was the case now. I can just imagine how tomorrow I'd call him and Fanny up, telling 'em stuff that would instinctively see us talking about after a scrumptuous meal(prepared by Bernard,of course) over alcohol and ciggarettes at the balcony. And as usual, they'd feel like killin me for always saying the wrong things at the wrong time and for pissing people off. "...gong wei gong buay tia". they'd chide me. And altho I was clearly the odd one out of the 3 in many aspects, they never saw it in them to disregard me as a close friend just because I dont share the same sentiments as them and as the conventional human. Even when we majorly pissed each other off recently sighting differences, they kept wanting to salvage the friendship tho at that point I saw no reason in doing so.

I remember how late last year, I took flight and went overseas. Fanny sms-ed me almost every few days begging me to come back home. I remember how Bernard would treat us to great meals at great places whenever he had extra cash, which was more than occasional.

Last week I was over at BloodBrothers Cafe. Felt strangely foreign. Fanny, Bernard and myself used to dine there almost every week. Ok, maybe more of Bernard and myself 'cause we always had nothing to do other than to shop, dine, cook and smoke.

Damn, that bitch Bernard Chua Sai Kang is now happily with his boyfriend in Zurich, leaving Fanny Ong Chee Bye and Charissa Ashley Lan Jiao in boringly tiny Singapore, waiting to fly over and live the threesome lives again.

Oh well, to the 2 of you..uhm..U know what I wanna say lah. Besides, "wo pi gu zhang ji gen mao ni men ye zhi dao". hahah... So uhm, thanks...

And about Levan, I dunno. I took a chill pill and drank glasses of green tea to wash away the shitty taste. but...

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 0 comments links to this post

10/02/2006 08:56:00 PM


Sunday, October 01, 2006

[11:20 PM] dodogenius harbiebibi _bell? says:
lornie kept mentioning abt US (being married)
[11:20 PM] dodogenius harbiebibi _bell? says:
he said.. so next time u must blah blah.. i must blah blah
[11:20 PM] dodogenius harbiebibi _bell? says:
so next time.. blah blah

[11:20 PM] [Charissa] Fold The Corners,Break The Silence.Fold The Corners Just For Tonight... says:
n i wanna be ur bridesmaid

[11:20 PM] dodogenius harbiebibi _bell? says:

[11:21 PM] [Charissa] Fold The Corners,Break The Silence.Fold The Corners Just For Tonight... says:
no..i wanna be ur maid of honor

[11:21 PM] dodogenius harbiebibi _bell? says:
i will fucking make u wear pink

[11:23 PM] [Charissa] Fold The Corners,Break The Silence.Fold The Corners Just For Tonight... says:
fuck u, understand..aiyah, get engaged first lah. anyway, weddings no.they're hot.marriages suck.

[11:25 PM] dodogenius harbiebibi _bell? says:
it will be a quiet one
[11:26 PM] dodogenius harbiebibi _bell? says:
prob no parents or whoever will know abt it
[11:26 PM] dodogenius harbiebibi _bell? says:
ok maybe u, coz i nid a witness
[11:26 PM] dodogenius harbiebibi _bell? says:

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 0 comments links to this post

10/01/2006 11:30:00 PM


Perfection Through Silence

Alone at last together in a photograph
Our eyes are always open devoted to
Perfection through silence

What am I supposed to do?
Should I sit wait for you?
Listen to me screaming more

This story is old
only to those that have no hope
The truth can be bought or sold
What are we buying?
Nothing but silence.

What am I supposed to do?
Should I sit wait for you?
Listen to me screaming more
What am I supposed to do?
Should I sit wait for you?
Listen to me screaming more

Fold the corners,
Break the silence,
Fold the corners, just for tonight.
Fold the corners,
Break the silence

What am I supposed to do?
Should I sit wait for you?
Listen to me screaming more

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 0 comments links to this post

10/01/2006 11:18:00 AM


Friday, September 29, 2006

OMG. I've never been more tired and sleep deprived. Fashion styling can drive me kuku sometimes. I used to be able to stay up late into the wee hours talking about anything from senseless crap to intense mind-fuckin conversations sprinkled with clever repartee. Now I just get tired and stupid. Is age catchin up? Is my dream of passin on by 30 playin Hide And Seek with me? Wednesday's clothes-sourcing was comparitively relaxing. Then discussed stuff for today's shoot at Spinelli while deciding whether or not to meet Levan, which I eventually did, only to feel pukish possibly because of his stupid SKL ciggies.

And while he was singin Radiohead's Creep(my absofukinglute fav. ok, one of) and waking the entire neighborhood with the inconsiderate volume at which he strummed his Yamaha considering the ungodly hour, he asked me the EXACT SAME question at the EXACT SAME part of the song Hardcore Brick asked when he played Creep in his studio some time back. "What's the next line ah?" what.the.fuck. The last thing I want is similar qualities or traits or..fuck,they do have lotsa things in common. blah..they even know each other..nbcb...I have a penchant for dysfunctional people. Im a trouble magnet.

That's hot.

So I got home at about 4 plus. But Levan had to msg me till 5ish and that toad apparently had to wake up at 6 plus for some MTV thingy. I had to wake up at 10 for another day of sourcing. I IS TIRED! So yesterday Shervin and I sourced the ENTIRE day only to come home at midnight with my dining table littered with Dad's documents. Die lor! I no need to sleep lor. I did my stuff first then Dad came into the study and told me to '...retype this stack of the Offer and note the pencil edits 'cause you gotta change all the prices, then send it to Francis but Im not very sure of the email address. Then edit this stack and have it faxed to the buyer. Fax number's on the small piece of paper, alright? Now, make sure everything's done properly, ah. The dates, prices, everything. Ok? I gotta sleep now. Oh, then print out this stack. Or do you wanna print it tomorrow? What're u doing tomorrow? You won't be free? What time're you leaving the house? Ok, then if you want, print it out after you're done then go sleep. Make sure you eat before you leave tomorrow. And sleep early."

HUH? So much to do and you tell me to sleep early. That's hot. It's almost 1am. I've got a whole day of photoshoot leh. sighness.

Im hopin next week I'll be free. Fuck. No. I'll have to go down to MediaCorp tmr. Morning.urrrgh... Early in the week I'll have to discuss radio stuff. Maybe I could squeeze in time to go down to Levan's studio.Then Fri I've to attend some Agnes B function. Saturday The Satan Confederation General Meeting.

And last night, I saw I saw I saw..never mind.

My day was shitty. Thats hot.

But you know whats hot? Shervin, Eugene and myself were at Coffee Club and I decided to morph into some kuku assswipe. I told the waiter that he's sexy and ordered Bangladesh(Bangers and Mash) and Slippery Lobster(Slipper Lobster Pasta) and blah blah blah. Nb, the waiter kept tryin to control his laughter lah! LOL. So in between there were loads of funnyass nonsense but when we were done with our food the same waiter came over and asked about our dining experience, the food mostly. My dish consisted of 4 sausages and a dollop of mash potatoes..

"So hows your Bangladesh, miss?"
"Oh, it was hot. Many sizes!"

That was it, man. We laughed till mucus oozed out from our noses.


Thats hot

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9/29/2006 10:52:00 AM


Tuesday, September 26, 2006

What a teary Tuesday it was.
6 members of The Satan Confederation along with 2 erm well, outsiders and 2 of The S.C's Bodyguards had Happy Meals(kiddos we are sometimes) together for the first time in history. Splendid.
Oh, I forgot to mention why its a teary Tuesday. 'Cause Lornie, our sidekick, aka Princess Dawn's boyfriend, is embarkin on a 2 year mission to ensure the safety of the people in the Lion City. Year after year the Police told him to wait and wait(so much so we all got worried that they don't want him anymore hence the delay) and now the time has come for him to bid his sad sad sad girlfriend goodbye. Adios to all the frequent cock-talkin sessions, weekened getaways, lame jokes, DOTA blah blah blah..

Charissa and boyfriend(whom she now refers to as an idiotic schizo) brought Queer As Folk dvds as well as a portable dvd player system so he can watch gay guys gettin jiggy with it on nights he feels divided about his sexuality. Im not sayin he's gay, of course. He's straight as a stick but y'know, all these punkass missions, all guys no girls.. they fuck your mind sometimes, man! hahha...Charissa can be sooooooo 'thoughtful' man. And the boyfriend just gives Lornie this Been-There-Done-That look and goes "Dont worry, bro. 2 years will be over soon" Rrrriight...

Norica and her new beau brought... blowup dolls. What can I say, man. This girl lives up to her name, alright. Nothing else but porn porn porn in her cutieass mind. Im just hoping to god those dolls are brand new. You never know what gunk could be on 'em. These 2 lovebirds hump like rabbits! Dang, they're loverabbits, man!

Squid and Estella(the other sidekick, also on-off partner of King Squid) brought the nicest, most thoughtful thing ever!! They painstakingly... took 3 days... to cross stitch... all of our faces... on a... pair of red briefs. SEXAAAAY! wooooooo hoooooooooo. Likewise, I sure as hell hope its new. And I dunno how the hell they managed to squeeze our faces in but they did. Kudos to these 2!

Dani and Sharon, our wonderful bodyguards, brought a bagful of bricks of erm..i cant say this on uhh the blog as uhhh I might be subjected to illegal possession or consumption or possession of the knowledge of people consuming uhh..stuff. If you've watched Harold and Kumar, Im talkin about the shit those dirtbags went around school for. Yyyyyupp. Thaaaat shit. *sniggers* So Dani and Sharon gave him a lil some'some' to help him stone his time away. These 2 shits are da bomb man, to have thought of something so uhhhhh...dope?

Now.....the moment you're all been waitin for. What did Princess Dawn get for Lornie??? *drum roll*

She gave him something that words cannot describe. Something that is esoteric between only the both of them. Something so sweet that NONE of us can ever, ever match up to. Something that she alone can give-if by anyone else, it'd be distasteful. Something that....eeew..why do I make it sound like she gave him a blowjob.. aiyah..she gave him memories lah. Goodness. Yupp. Memories to muse over when he's feelin lost and lonely. Memories to hold on to in case Satan and bf's Queer As Folk dvds screws his mind..and hands..and balls...and dick while he's in the red briefs courtesy of King Squid and Estella.Memories that would definitely put Princess Norica and bfs BlowUp dolls to good use.Memories that will keep him company for all of the 2 fuckin years.

Anyhow, Lornie...when u read this when u come back home to Behnachilan Island, make sure u have the bag of ermm..y'know y'know....

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 0 comments links to this post

9/26/2006 10:32:00 PM


I bring you yet another Battle Of The Bimbos. Dani, the bodyguard vs Charissa aka SATAN

Friday, September 22, 2006

[1:18 PM] -=spiKe=- Prince Of Darkness says:
which animal lay the biggest egg?

[1:19 PM] Mind Block says:

[1:19 PM] -=spiKe=- Prince Of Darkness says:
A.Ostrich B.Elephant
C.Shark D.Pelican

[1:19 PM] Mind Block says:
i answered before u gimme options,balls

[1:19 PM] -=spiKe=- Prince Of Darkness says:
u can change ur mind if u want to

[1:19 PM] Mind Block says:
dun wan

[1:19 PM] -=spiKe=- Prince Of Darkness says:
answer is shark

[1:19 PM] Mind Block says:
[1:19 PM] Mind Block says:
sharks give birth
[1:20 PM] Mind Block says:
no eggs

[1:20 PM] -=spiKe=- Prince Of Darkness says:
shark's are fishes... they got gills.. they breathe underwater

[1:20 PM] -=spiKe=- Prince Of Darkness says:
they lay eggs

[1:20 PM] Mind Block says:
they dont!
[1:20 PM] Mind Block says:
sharks have no gills
[1:20 PM] Mind Block says:
they have fins
[1:20 PM] Mind Block says:
n they DO NOT lay eggs

[1:21 PM] -=spiKe=- Prince Of Darkness says:
fins are the thingys behind the back leh
[1:21 PM] -=spiKe=- Prince Of Darkness says:
then the side of their neck the lines are wat?
[1:21 PM] -=spiKe=- Prince Of Darkness says:
tattoo arh?

[1:21 PM] Mind Block says:

[1:22 PM] -=spiKe=- Prince Of Darkness says:
i went to underwater world recently and found out they are fish
[1:22 PM] -=spiKe=- Prince Of Darkness says:
biggest shark egg recorded are whale sharks

[1:22 PM] Mind Block says:
OMFG! NOW THEN YOU KNOW? then all along u thought sharks are wad?

[1:23 PM] -=spiKe=- Prince Of Darkness says:
tot they give birth one cuz pri skool my science teacher say they dun lay eggs
[1:23 PM] -=spiKe=- Prince Of Darkness says:
if tat time i known the meaning of 'sue' i would have done so

[1:24 PM] Mind Block says:
errr....nb..i think you're right leh.
[1:24 PM] Mind Block says:
sharks do lay eggs
[1:24 PM] Mind Block
fuckadoodles...i is bimbo

So, the conversation then diverted into something else, leavin us still hanging on the harsh reality of the question at hand...Ostrich or Shark? Apparently its Shark. *shrugs*

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9/22/2006 01:34:00 PM


Thursday, September 21, 2006

Good Day!

I is happy. Dunno why. Justin Ang and Vernon A called me at 10 in the friggin morning to tell me to go down to the 987FM studios for recordin. I had to pretend like I'd woken up loooong ago when in fact sleepy me was still in bed. Fuck lah, all this photoshoot madness is drivin me kuku. Walk round Orchard Road, lug bags of clothes and accessories, pause a couple of minutes for a smoke or a drink, then repeat steps 1, 2 and 3 until shops close. And we cant afford to stop and eat leh. Really. Maybe just grab somethin from BreadTalk. But that never happens. Ok seldom. Not when there're 2 projects of clothes to source for in 1 week. Last night a friend of mine said "...definitely a fucking cool job to have! much better than being a musician really, where there are no regular working hours. bleah."

HUH?! I'd rather be a musician lah!


So far, my personal record was 15 bags. Some of which had tonnes of jeans and satanzillions of accessories. Yupp. FIF-fucking-TEEN. Mind you, they weren't small, teeny weeny bags.

But this week was ULTIMATE man, I swear. More than 20. I didn't dare to count. Sooooooooo many that we had to call someone to come down and help us with the load then bring it down to the studio. Soooooo heavy that a couple of the paper bags tore. Yesterday we had the car and decided to do returns. WAHHHHHH!!! I went to my other stylist's house and dropped my fuckin jaw in front of his mom. His ENTIRE living room was filled with shoppin bags. I had to somersault to get from one point to another. Trust me, I couldnt even spot 7 square metres of floor. Aiyah, dont say the dining area lah. That one of course quite empty. People need to eat mah. Anyway, to give a slightly clearer image of 2 projects worth of sourcing, imagine stuffin your car boot to the brim and then fillin the back seat with the remaining bags. Plentiful hor?

Being a stylist very glamorous ah? Own time own target ah? Can shop while working ah? Think again hor!

Err...ok, we do shop while workin. Like yesterday, in between loans and returns, we dropped by Pull and Bear at Taka. To think we've been excitedly anticipating the opening of the boutique for so long. The designs were so-so. Price range not very competitive. But the decor and overall ambience was good. The kind that screwed my mind and told me to beg Father Time to add an hour to the clock so I can go in, try all the pretty clothes and come out a happy woman then continue the rest of my otherwise tiring day with another shoppin bag to carry. BUT...the clothes didn't really justify so...

As usual we didn't eat the entire day. But thank god for 24 hour restaurants, man. Whoever the smarty pants thought of such a remarkable idea should dine with The Satan Confederation.

Oh, speakin of The S.C, it has come to my attention that alot of kukus who follow this blog or read it a few times believe almost every single fuckin thing we say. HAHAHAHAHAH... Pox grow on you! Of course there are times when stuff we talk about cant get any more true, but alamak, dont so serious serious lah! Relak!

Ok for the record, Squid smokes like a chimney, is proud that she's lesbo, loves watchin her gay rabbits bonkin' (uh huh..her rabbits are as gay as she is), wants to be a millionaire and does drive a Rav4.

Dawn is really not that bimbotic (in fact, there are alot of things she knows that I dont), loves weekend getaways, is a Chanel whore wannabe, loves her boyfriend, kinda dislikes porn and drives a Vios.

Norica really, really did distribute porn since 11(alot of people think we made this bit up, but hahahah..its true, yo!), adores Eminem as much as her dolls, is a closet smoker, has a new crush 'cause she got bored of the hairstylist we always mention about and drives a Mini Cooper.

Charissa is very attitudinal(that one, we all long time ago know already), really doesnt have a boyfriend(whoever saw her with that MX-5 guy, DO NOT be mistaken), gets bored very very easily, dislikes pop music, is desperate to keep her mind focused on learnin to play drums and the guitar and drives a Fairlady (sometimes takes her friends' Civics, Evos, Rexs, Silvias etc out for a drive when she feels like it).

So there...

Now I needa go read my book 'cause my engreesh like not very powderful liao. I is losing it le.

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9/21/2006 11:25:00 AM


Black Kind Of White

Monday, September 11, 2006

Can't imagine how you got into my head
You were so wrong that you're so right
Wrong 'cause of all the things I thought you were
Right 'cause that which beats saw a thrill, yet another
But you had me the night I touched your face
and wiped your invisible tear
You're too wrong but I don't care
Black kinda white you stripped your black to bare

This is to Death Cab For Cutie for when we
thought we're gonna die
But we lived, didn't die. No, we didn't die
Stayed together for some time
Then you had me the night you
disappeared and appeared in front of me
But you're wrong for me No, I don't care

Black kinda white, you stripped your black to bare
But I was thinkin, I've been thinkin
Drinkin got us everywhere but there
Where our similarities could lead us
Where pride should never tear us

I'd be in Morpheus' Arms and he'd wake me
'Cause he knew you'd call, knew you like a diary
5am Thursdays when poison made you talk silly
6am Saturdays when singing made you hungry
Then sometimes, sometimes I'd watch you sleep

Black kinda white, you stripped your black to bare
But I was thinkin, I've been thinkin
Drinkin got us everywhere but there
Where our similarities could lead us
Where pride should never tear us

It was always about you, philosophy and music
And all the things that you like
Everything was about you, only me when
you needa complain or have coffee or something at night
It was me holding your hand
No, not me. I know it's someone else (where was I)
Someone too ordinary and limited (where was I)
Someone stupid towards thoughts you had (where was I)
Prosaic and insipid, mindless and so quiet (where was I)

Black kinda white, you stripped your black to bare
But I was thinkin, I've been thinkin
Drinkin got us everywhere but there
Where our similarities could lead us
Where pride should never tear us

Did you know I missed you
No, I think I've forgotten you
I think I know, no what do I know
Do you think of me when you're shakin
Do you think of me when you're cryin
Do you know I missed you
I don't wanna know
Don't want you to know

Black kinda white, you stripped your black to bare
But I was thinkin, I've been thinkin
Drinkin got us everywhere but there
Where our similarities could lead us
Where pride should never tear us

Now Black kinda White's stripped his black to bare
And I am thinkin, what I've been thinkin
Drinkin had got us shakin, so right now right here
what difference does it make if we, if we
Then he said, "Why won't you let me..."

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9/11/2006 06:46:00 PM


Saturday, September 02, 2006

Let's all take a minute or two, or seven if you want, and think back on the time your other half tried to hold your hand...

See? Didn't that relieve your stress by at least a tad bit?

I remember how he first held my hand. Oh my gawd, it was as though we both were secondary school sweethearts. Night had just turned to day and we were making our way from a lane to the main road. I was lookin around and talking with him when our hands brushed one another's and I felt myself stop breathing hahaha for about a second. Then about 4 steps later, my hand brushed his. Shit. Breathing stopped again. This time though, for a good 3 seconds 'cause he held my hand! oh my god. Err..actually his pinkie held my pinkie.
See? I told you it was as if we both were secondary school sweethearts. hahahahahahah.
Im smiling silly even as Im typing this. So anyway, we continued walking pinkie in pinkie when suddenly I let go. Dunno why, ok. Then he came at it again. Now, hand in hand. Awwwww...

Wait...Before you get all lovey and awww-ish and whatever, I should let you know Ive a tendency of abruptly spoiling happy endings. Like how I had once tactlessly, brainlessly asked an ex boyfriend who'd just given me a customised diamond ring, "Eh, these are real diamonds ah? Maybe inside got crystal or something". cheebeh, after that he got so fucking angry and hurt, not to mention unapreciated, he didn't wanna speak to me. Until now. Except for the occasional sms-Hi, I thought I just saw u.hope ure doing that ur bf i saw u with?be sure 2 treat him well.take care-or something along those lines.

Anywaaaaaay-before I go offtrack here-we walked hand in hand. Then someone let go. I cant remember who. But as we crossed the road, he let his hand out to which I brattishly said,

" Eh, 我 幹痲要牵你的手 啊!" (Eh, why the hell must I hold your hand)

He shot both arms up, shruggin, "Dont hold then dont hold lor" and crossed the road ahead of me, slowing his pace once he got to other side. He must've slowed down to wait for me. Im damned sure.Ha. So while walkin to the bus stop, he came at it again. Aww man...instead of not breathin, I found butterflies flapping away in my stomach. And he was SOOOOO SWEET! ewww..I sound like a bimbo. Anyway....

Ok, now get ready to ooooooo and aawwwwwww...


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9/02/2006 07:32:00 PM


Friday, September 01, 2006


It seems Satan's Pig has a fascination with the name Jonathan, or is perhaps in love with MY BOYFRIEND?!

Princess Dawn, I believe the shopping-bag boy, Jonathannn, is that waiter you bedded when you were lunching at Hillton Hotel?
So...he's going to Europe with you tmr. How so very erm...sexciting.

But since when did you have a puppy named Jonathan? Hell, since fuckin when did you even get a pup, man? When you figured Jonathannn Waiter was way too cute a boy to punctuate sex at just a one-afternoon stand even though his instrument, for hell's sake, was smaller than the banana you had for dessert? And so this *cough* mixed-bred pup, which scientifically-amazingly has a penis longer than a tall black guy's, makes up for what Jonathannn Waiter lacks lah?

And how, might I ask, are you going to survive in magnificent Europe with Jonathannn Waiter without Jonathan Pup?


Just as long as MY JONATHAN ain't involved in your sexcapades...

Oh by the way, our pilot is on leave. So Im afraid you gotta find your own pilot to fly the plane. AND DONT U DARE ASK MY BOYFRIEND FOR HELP.

Ok, but have fun there. I don't want Chanel stuff. No Louis Vuitton, too. I just want stuff from Alexander McQueen, erm...shit..I'll call you when I c-ca-can think pr-prp-pro-proapjfasni-properly...

got-g-gotta J-Jo-Jon's here and err...fuck...he brought choc syrup and candles and Marilyn Manson...

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9/01/2006 01:08:00 PM


i will be going to europe for my weekly shopping trip. ive booked the satan's confed private airplane and shopping bag boy, named jonathannn(with triple n) to carry all my CHANEL shopping bags. dont worry satan i'll tip jonathannn end of the trip.

so as usual tmr will be a great good day.

sigh. den again, i shop so often, the seasons dont even change fast enuff for my trips. damn. nvmind, i can get my CHANEL bags in different colours this time.

anyway my itinerary as follows:


den shopshopshopshopshopshop-eat-shopshopshopshop-spa

this day, friday, seems amazingly normal. jus as before (weekly shopping trips) gets boring at times. but well, its jus a priviledge and non-satans doesnt get it. so yeah, im learning to be thankful.

so for once, TSIF! (thank satan its friday)

so satan, i will buy u the best and longest dildo they have there. so u can stop having sex with my puppy (named jonathan) . yikes! u better stop it ok. u have been at it for 2 days now. if u cant get an orgasm, means u cant! dont blame my dog, he's getting tired of u alrdy.

as for squid, i will buy u some cheap cheap ciggies so smoke ur lungs away. and for norica, whats else, i'll buy u the best porno available. life is good for u dicks too i guessed. *shrugs

screw u.

so fuck off and have a nice weekend.

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9/01/2006 11:07:00 AM


Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Fuck. Just when Princess Dawn and Lornie least expected, the former's boss walked in on them making passionate luurve in the pantry during lunch when noone, they had thought, was around. They were Thanks to Princess Norica, who'd lent Princess Dawn her copy of The KamaSutra and Tantra and swore by the guaranteed-orgasm manoeuvres, Lornie was caught in Manoeuvre Number 69 when Big Boss walked in.


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8/30/2006 03:01:00 PM



Monday, August 28, 2006

its like oni been 4 days and whenever i think abt it i feel sad and grumpy. SUPER.

no one to wake me up in the morning, gumble gumble abt me being late, make breakfast for me (which i complain its so boring), remind me to bring everything (IE, hp and whatever shit)

no one to open door for me when i come home at night. to gumble at me to eat, slp early or tok abt her day. blah blah. no one to buy food for me or sms me, DO U WANT FOOD? NO KFC FOR U! *gumble gumble. but yet still buy. no one to sit patiently waiting for me to curse and swear abt my day and yet smile & say its ok. dont like just quit and find new one. i dont nid u to bring money home, find a job that u like first.

not hearing the irriating sound of vaccum cleaner on sat/sun morning and constant gumblings that its time for me to wakeup and clean my rm. etc etc. no waking up to a full meal waiting for me to feast on. no nonsensical gumblings while lying on my bed.

i think this time it really make me realise how impt she is and how i dependent i am on her. how i wish i was bringing her back jus now. KNNBCCB.

i miss her alot.alot.alot.alot.alot.alot.

hurry up and come home soon.


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8/28/2006 09:32:00 PM


Scumbags should never be my friends

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Never believe when some dilhole says he'll help you.

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8/27/2006 12:45:00 PM


Good In Bed

Sunday, August 20, 2006

I am impeccably bored. I'm just done with reading 3 novels, the last of which is Good In Bed by Jennifer Weiner, a book I've had to explain to friends who'd give me that sleazy look, that 'it isn't what you think it is'. Its actually befittingly titled after a column in a male magazine, for which the books' horizontally-challenged character's ex boyfriend now works, where his debut article was titled Loving A Larger Woman. By 'Larger Woman' he was referring to the said ex girlfriend whom he prevaricatedly names C. C as in Cannie, short for Candace Shapiro. C as in, well, the person this book is about. A corpulent 29 year old holding a stable job writing for Philadelphia Examiner and is currently battling in her mind whether or not breaking up with, or rather taking time off, her almost good-for-nothing pot-smoking boyfriend of 3 years, Bruce Guberman,was the right thing to do, seeing as how she misses him from time to time, especially more so now that he's everywhere. Maybe not his presence but at least his name's gonna be everywhere printed in every month's issue of Moxie.

She's only just found out, 3 months into the break up, that Bruce has secured himself a column in Moxie (and an upcoming novel to boot) in which month after month, he writes about C and has gotten the entire state reading about his side of their relationship, from how he had loved C for who she was and not how she looked to proclaiming blatantly having gone down on her, also mentioning en passant, that he misses her, causing Cannie to harbour ideas that there could still be a chance at getting back together.

So this novel walks you through Cannie's life harping on how she regretted having broken up with him, reading about herself in Bruce's column, going for therapy (to lose the pounds 'cause noone except herself is critical about her size), amazing herself with the fact that it took a marriage, 3 children and a husband's sudden departure for her mother to realise that she's lesbian. The twist is when she discovers she's with child. With Bruce's child, conceived during one night of ill-advised sex. Ill-advised not because it was Bruce's dad's funeral (Leonard Guberman had loved Cannie dearly like his own daughter), but because she's not over him and he, though apparently not completely over her, is seeing someone else. This, Cannie didn't know about all this while. Until she heard the voice of a female in the background when she called him one night, in a drunken stupor sober enough to wake up the next morning knowing what you'd done the night before but drunk enough to do it, wanting to tell him how much she misses him and how she shouldn't have asked to take time off from each other.

Devastated, heartbroken as she might've been, she decides to keep the baby and slowly tries to forget about that bastard and his newfound girlfriend, whom he refers to in his column as E, who is now the subject in question now that C is passe. Bruce did once mention en passant, that Cannie's carrying his child and Philadelphia, as it happens, seems to be following the story as if watching a soap, only in nothing but words, and not weekly but monthly.

Close to a year on, Cannie, having gone through a series of downs, 7 months in labour (7 'cause during a confrontation at the airport's toilet one day where Bruce and E and Cannie met coincidentally, E kinda pushed Cannie causing the latter to fall, black out and have a premature delivery), eventually gotten over that bastard, a movie about fat women on the way and given birth, albeit prematurely, to a beautiful baby girl aptly named Joy, wrote Loving A Larger Woman by Candace Shapiro and called the editor of Moxie to have it published in its next issue. And whaddaya know, the managing editor, along with all of Moxie's readers, loved it so much that she was given a contract with them. Bruce's contract, however, hasn't been renewed.

As for Cannie's love life, all's well ends well. Remember I mentioned she went for therapy? Well, her very caring and unbastardly therapist, Peter K., herself as well as cute little Joy are living happily together.

Now, I really could've written something simpler and more candid a la Girl meets Boy, Girl and Boy fall in love, Girl breaks up with Boy, Girl regrets, Boy finds another girl, Boy's father dies, Girl and Boy have sex, Girl gets pregnant with Boy's child, Girl gives birth, all this proving that Boy's a bastard, but I did mention that I am impeccably bored, didn't I? baaahh...

Dang, boredom made me write a long book review. Boredom made me read Good In Bed. I mean, not that the book wasn't an interesting read, it's just that it's sooooooo unme!

Someone pass me some more books please! MP3s would be hellava nice, too!

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8/20/2006 09:07:00 PM


It has come to my attention-how so very unfortunate-that some blasted jackshits have incesssantly flooded our Royal Mail with applications, pleas, CVs, resumes and whateverthefuck, begging to be a part of The Satan Confederation. I haven't even come to the shit sitting at one dark isolated corner of the HR Department-Black Bible, books on the occult, satanic ritual guides, pendents ranging from pentagons, inverted crosses and whatever crap antichrist per Satan. uurghhhh...

With regards to the first issue, as much as this evident desperation-portrayed by imbecilic hopefuls who've had their fates decided on even before the very thought of not saving their guts and balls for other more humble positions elsewhere manifested in their minds-escalated our ego, I'm also delighted to say that none of the members of the Confederation remotely considered any of them even for the position of janitor. Of course a measly bit of credit was given for creativity and nerve (one had his resume 'personally' delivered to our Palace. His particulars were written on his face, Education and Work Experience from his shoulder to waist and Capablities on his...well, nether regions), but all that just aided in comic relief, nothing further.

Now, for the record, The Satan Confederation does not do applications, pleas, interviews, hell, we don't even do recruitment drives. So, if you're considering typing that CV thinkin your overqualified self is what we're lookin for, go fry your brains. And if you think that you being satanic increases your chances by 666 times, go eat your heart out. The S.C sure as hell has nothin to do with satanism, the occult and has no inclinations whatsofriggingever with the devil and/or his works. Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa is Catholic, for chrissakes. Why Princess Charissa is nicknamed Satan is nothing but a tongue-in-cheek play on Beelzebub, seeing as how the bad side of her Jekyll and Hyde self stretches to the extreme, almost inhumane. (it ain't that bad,really)

Anyhow, those of you who'd sent gifts of diabolic nature, Im not sorry that we DID NOT appreciate your kindness, but you should be pleased to know that I've had 'em all burnt so you'll be sure to reunite with them when you die-soon I hope. And those of whom had sent application forms, CVs etc, I did you all a nice lil' favor and sent them to various companies ranging from waste management, casket, domestic help to even McDonalds. No need to thank me.

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8/20/2006 11:33:00 AM


I See Your True Colors And That's Why I Want You

Friday, August 18, 2006

I could've sworn I was deep in slumber but somefrigginghow, this song found its way into my head and stayed there right up till now. hmm...

True Colors - Cyndi Lauper

You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh, I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors
Are beautiful like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy
Can't remember when
I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
Your true colors
Are beautiful like a rainbow

(Can't remember when I last saw you laughing)

If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors
True colors are shining through

I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors
Are beautiful like a rainbow

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8/18/2006 12:23:00 PM



Tuesday, August 15, 2006

"Have you ever needed someone but you didn't love them?", a friend asked me last week. What an interesting question, I thought to myself and instinctively editted his question, apparently describing a situation he's in, to relate it to my context-Have I ever wanted somone but didn't love them. That made a tad more sense, only I don't love. Wrong person to ask such a question,boy. So, in the midst of effortlessly giving comforting advice and watching my soul detach itself from my lifeform as it manipulated my hand into moving the mouse to select REPEAT ONE for Death Cab for Cutie's Stability on my iTunes-which only meant that Im getting into the Death Cab mood-it suddenly dawned on me that everyone,or at least most of the jackshits I know are leading horrifying, sad, messy love lives. Those poor things.
One is caught in a rut where even saying the words 'I am bored of the relationship' comes far from difficult for her. One is moping the effed up life she's leading after she broke up with her partner, whom she cant bear to be with or without. One is frustrated that he leads a somewhat dependent, solitary life revolving round his girlfriend, something he can't seem to change due to circumstances. One is caught in Morton's Fork. One gave up all hope on her guy friend. One is juggling exams and a relationship that will lead to nowhere,nofuckingwhere. One is....argh,you get the drift. And I well, I am too proud to say or do anything. whatever.

And so this Death Cab mood lasted 5 friggin' days. I remember vividly the last time this despondent, melancholic, acheronian mood hit me, I was sitting on a bench at the Twin Jetty in the middle of the night with my head cocked backwards on the table slowly savouring the taste of whiskey flowing down my gullet, blowing ciggarette smoke into nothingness and staring vacantly at the planes that flew above and Stability was on repeat. Days later, Hardcore Brick got it bad too, only he wasn't at some jetty but somewhere that 'looks like the view you would see at the jetty'. Of course he had his Marlboro Reds. He might've been poisoned on whiskey. Come to think of it, I think he was as sober as he is on nights not Wednesdays, occasional Saturdays and less than occasional Fridays. He briefly mentioned he was walking along the expressway,which he quickly brushed off as a how-can-you-possibly-believe-it joke; a joke I knew was truth. And indeed it was. Esoteric.

I also remember the first time I had Death Cab, whiskey and marlboros; a combination I then hadn't a clue would become the eternal combi for days with despondent nature. I was in the studio. Hardcore Brick's. He had his iPod plucked into the amps and emo songs came spewing out that created a perfect semblance to imaginations I've had of having a comfortable place where I could spend solitude listening to music blasting from speakers. Perfect ambience, I thought then. Perfect ambience. Dark fabric-covered windows that made day look no different from night, sombre walls, a lava lamp, 2 black sofas, dark carpetted floor, cushions. I made myself very comfortable with legs dangling from the left arm of sofa, butt positioned snugly on the seat, head rested on the right arm and imbibed my mind with the sweet taste of melancholy and whiskey as the speakers sang a different tune. A tune Death Cab is good at creating, a creation that could make me allow myself to relinquish my guarded self. But a sad sound punctuated the ethereality. He spoke of his grandmother whom he loved so much. I can't remember what I did. No. I think I reached out a hand and touched his sad face. That face of condescendence, pride, self-centredness, intellect, obstinance. That face of paranoia, fear, vulnerability, wanting to do people proud.

Shit...Now my mind is a blank.

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8/15/2006 01:44:00 PM


Friday, August 11, 2006

"I gave it some thought and decided you should take me back."
"Even though I've made a few mistakes, I think you'd be making an even bigger one not giving me a second chance."
"I see."
"Cause now I understand what it is you want of me. And I know what I can expect from you."

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8/11/2006 10:36:00 PM


Some jackshit never fails to prove me right. That he's a conceited, narcissistic, prideful, emotionally insecure, condescending, lying, paranoid, alcoholic scum of a dirtbag.

Some jackshit Never fails to piss me off. With the effed up things he does and doesn't do.

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8/11/2006 11:59:00 AM


Thursday, August 10, 2006

Whiskey, Ciggarettes and DeathCab For Cutie.

Tell me what else could be better.

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8/10/2006 10:54:00 PM


Oooooo...Satan has a boyfriend! (Satan always does.Ha)

He's a hottie named Jonathan. (Satan only likes good looking men by her side.That bitch)

He's a smart ass. Jonathan schools at NUS, majors in Political Science. (Satan likes engaging in intellectual battles with armed men.)

He's musically inclined. (Satan likes her men appreciative of music, much like herself)

He's a Gemini. (So is Satan. And this is only a good thing 'cause they both understand each other all too damned well; the attitudinal persona, their obstinate personality, elusiveness, dual-mindedness blah blah blah. But the worst that could come out of this relationship is their stubborness and the need to outshine. 'Cause these 2 good looking individuals do little to compliment each other. If anything, their similarities in interest and hobbies will prove to be more of a competition than a give and take relationship.)

But in all happiness, let's all wish the lovebirds luck in their relationship. Who knows, a Gemini female and a Gemini male might work out, break Satan's record of stayin in a relationship for more than 2 months, celebrate their 1 year anniversary, then 3 years, then get married, have kids, grandkids and....ok, we're thinkin a tad too far-fetched,now. Let's just wait and see if they pass through October.

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 3 comments links to this post

8/10/2006 01:13:00 PM


Thursday, August 03, 2006

Writing a column for a local magazine or newspaper has always been something I've dreamed of doing-well, one of the things I've dreamed of doing,to be precise-but something that I never thought myself to be capable of.Something that friends would urge me to try as they,viewers of the bigger picture, could see the potential of unleashing the blabbermouth in me. I would like to think of it more as the opinion-regurgitater in me. But I never did try writing. Not even for the school paper, if there was even a semblance of a publication other than the one that ran Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts across the cover. No, wait. That IS the school publication. Fuck it. It was more like a brochure. Any jackshit could write a paragraph or 3 about the schools upcoming events or who's holding the post of Director or whateverthefuck.
I was my lecturer's pet. My Communication Skills lecturer. Because I was the best in English and presentations and shot opinions like bullets from a fully loaded machine gun held by a raging beast that couldn't care less what or who could've possibly been hurt in the massacre. I was the best debater during one of those mock debates another lecturer put us thru. I, along with-I hope-another 2, could fully understand what the fuck was required for our dissertation. But I was also my lecturer's most disappointing student 'cause inasmuch as I was his pet, I was the most rebellious, most obnoxious (in a funny way tho) and most unable to sit still, thanks to the very fact that I cant hold my attention span long enough. So with an internship and possibly a permanent job waiting for me at SPH on the line, my favorite lecturer decided that even with my capabilities and PR savvy-ness, I wasn't ready. More like I didn't allow myself to. Better yet, I didn't see myself as capable, even though others including my favorite lecturer did. Well, he should know. He was a journalist himself.

I dreamed about styling beautiful women with funky clothes and accessories, about putting together an ensemble that could cost much less than a dinner for two at Au Petit Salut (the prices are pretty reasonable already), about informing avid readers of the magazine, at which I work excitedly everyday at, on new trends blah blah blah. Well, I bagged a job there. I did. I loved my job. Ok, well I liked it. Enough to make me not wanna resign anytime soon, which I eventually did because I hated my fashion director. That condescending fat ugly bitch.

I dreamed about zapping to my office in my Ferrari 360 Spider (I could make do with a souped up '02 350Z), decked in my power suit and killer heels, walk cavalierly head high, chest up into the office lobby and into the elevator, tap on the button that engraved the numbers of a somewhat high floor in the building, walk out and advance to the firm and be greeted by my secretary, who will then prepare my morning milo (I don't drink coffee) and finally walk right through a door which says Marketing Manager and fall into my comfortable chair. I can be the obnoxious, cavalier bitch I am and even my boss would think twice, thrice, 7 times maybe, on whether or not to have someone else fill in my post 'cause Im just too goddamn good. Well, I had 20% of this dream. I had a chauffeur who drove me to a building in which on the 6th floor, I had my own office and not just a cubicle like most people do. I had a pretty comfortable chair in which I sat sipping my morning green tea prepared by yours truly. But unlike the first reverie, I didn't feel I was uncapable. I was far from it. Unlike reverie number two, I kinda liked my boss. Scratch that. I didn't like nor dislike him. But I left nonetheless; due to circumstances actually foreseen.

I dreamed about defending my clients before the court. Staying up late into the nights digging for information and proof and alibies. Not just to prove my clients innocence but to justify my opponents guilt. Arguing my way through daily conversations is just about as far as I can possibly go with this lawyer shit. I'd argue, contend, debate just to get my way and many a times contend so bad that the opponent would be convinced that he/she is wrong. Or at least think that I'm not wrong. In any arguement, as long as I can convince you that you're wrong, I'd have already won the battle. No negotiations.

But every friggin time I tell myself to snag the opportunity smiling right before me, I'd find fault with it either before the interview, after the interview or even when I've nailed the job. You may kill me. I've tried swallowing poison but I'm still fuckin alive as hell.

Anyhow, I'd love to rant further but I like abruptness. So fuck off and have a nice day. ha ha ha...

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 1 comments links to this post

8/03/2006 10:56:00 PM


Satan, Pageant Queen

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 1 comments links to this post

8/01/2006 10:42:00 PM


Burn MotherFucker Burn!!

The famous music video featuring King Squid and Princess Norica doing their hit debut single Burn MotherFucker, Burn.

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 4 comments links to this post

8/01/2006 02:27:00 PM


Cute without the E

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Watching Rahima Rahim perform on stage at tonight's episode of Singapore Idol blew me off my feet. Literally. And do not for one second think or have an inclination of a thought that I'm overwhelmed one bit by her singing. The atrocity of her jazz number made me cringe in disgust 'cause not only did she not do justice to the song or the genre per se, her very attitude pisses me off. If it isn't already apparent that her so-called 'rocker-chic' attitude is merely an outward manifestation of her deepest desire to be someone she truly isn't, then please do not read this entry as it might piss you enough to write negative comments possibly because you're a supporter of said Idol finalist who, in my fuckin humble and honest opinion, is nothing but a childish 17,18 year old tryin way too fuckin hard to imitate punk rockers, a community of guys and girls who live and eat and beathe rock-a genre of music that she may no doubt like, but doesn't necessarily make her a rocker chick. Come on, just 'cause you listen to punk rock doesn't make you a punk rocker. Get my point? If you don't, I am truly sorry that your intellectually-challenged self even got this far in life.

Look, in the way she acts on stage and off, it is obvious that the girl is really a teeny bopper bubblegummy kinda girl. Hell, she shows that on stage too, if you scrutinise her closely. The way I look at it, the more you try to want to pull something off, the more you'll blow your cover.

Well, I'm happy for her that her flawed personality or persona or whatever deems fitting of her manifestation has pulled her through this far in the competition with no lack of supporters, whom I also pity for not having the wisdom and the ability to scrutinise or look beyond that act on stage.

And to end this lamenting entry or rather the unworthiness of it, I dare say she killed the jazz number tonight. She killed her ensemble too. That coat, dress, netted glove shit? It doesn't go, man! And her stage presense? It went 6 feet under too.

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 3 comments links to this post

7/26/2006 10:20:00 PM


Sighting a brief absence of newsletter-esque updates on the happening in and around The S.C, yours truly has taken time off her busy schedule of attendin to clients in her office to update all you ardent fans, like it or not, on the exciting, shit-stirring, preoccupying lives of the members of Behnachilan Island's political party, The Satan Confederation.

Pony Music rang Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa up the other day after reading thru the blog and was fuckin interested in King Squid and Princess Norica's impromptu song, Burn MotherFucker Burn, which they amazingly, not to mention ecstatically, composed during the recent trip to Tioman. Jonathan Lee,Director of Sales of Pony Music, said that " is a great and stress-relieving way for school-going children especially teenagers to vent out their frustrations."

He has offered Satan's Munky and Satan's Elf a recording deal with Musical Aid for Children(MAC), where they would have the opportunity to collaborate with artists like Marilyn Mansion and Em&Em to help kids who are stressed, abused or even those who are ill mentally, socially, physically, emotionally and intellectually.

Satan understands that the world is getting more and more fucked up and the kids are thus demanded and pressured to keep up quickly in this fast-paced society. By listening to hardcore music and music with explicit lyrics like Burn MotherFucker Burn, it would help release children of inner emotions like rage, fear, angst etc.

King Squid and Princess Norica were unavailable for comments at time of interview.

Meanwhile, a battle is ongoing between Princess Charissa, Princess Dawn and sidekick, Estella. Battle of the Bimbos initially saw 2 contenders for the title, Princess Charissa and Estella, both unconscious of the fact that the crown has, for a long time, been on the head of Princess Dawn. Princess Charissa aka Satan unabashedly challenged Estella to a duel just last night, stirring the shit of Princess Dawn's ass. During an interview with Princess Dawn aka Satan's Pig, she apparently seemed angsty with regards to the 2's oblivion and had discreetly asked King Squid and Princess Norica to sing Burn MotherFucker Burn to her as she slept last night.

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 1 comments links to this post

7/26/2006 10:53:00 AM


Bimbos my ass

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

and so, u cums are taking me as invisible is it?!

me, PRINCESS DAWN is still holding on to the ALMIGHTY QUEEN BIMBO CROWN ok.

u both are only worthy enuff to be my disciple hor!

wanna battle also never ask for MY permission first. nb! no respect for the bimbo queen. *STARES

/me slaps u both with sheets of CHANEL oil blotter

imdawntingyou gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 3 comments links to this post

7/25/2006 11:21:00 PM


Battle of the Bimbos

In an asthmatic response of laughter to the previous post Dani, our bodyguard, said

[11:07 PM]Before I Fucking Destroy you, You Better Detect My Mic You Stoopid COM! says:
sadly.. i dunno who more bimbo .. u or estella

[11:08 PM] Before I Fucking Destroy you, You Better Detect My Mic You Stoopid COM! says:
cuz she really tot hot dogs are made from dog meat and me..come here.we're gonna have a competition. whahahhahhahaha

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 2 comments links to this post

7/25/2006 11:13:00 PM


Big Mac inside is chicken

Satan: the BigMac inside is chicken.
King Squid: fuck u lah, chee bye. u never eat at McDonalds before ah?
Satan: what the fuck? it is chicken lor!
King Squid: no,ok. bloody hell. its beef lah, u kutu!
Satan: eh cheebeh. beef is cheeseburger and double cheeseburger and that what ah, last time that quarter pounder.
King Squid: you damn fuckin stupid lah. then u tell me big mac is what?
Satan: its that chicken patty then got cabbage and mayo lah!
Satan: eh fuck lah. u online right? u go or whatever and you go check. i bet with u im right lah, fuck
King Squid: knn, ok ah.
King Squid: wait. i go on my com. surfing
King Squid: oi! beef lah ok!
Satan: as if. how the fuck you know?
King Squid: eh. im in the bloody website lah,can. the thing says "beef patties,special sauce" blah blah blah.
Satan: huh?! then the chicken patty with cabbage and mayo all that fuck is wad?
King Squid: err...McChicken?
Satan: eh? fuck. you're right ah! suddenly you're damn smart,balls!
King Squid: cos u bimbo lah,chee bye.

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 1 comments links to this post

7/25/2006 10:35:00 PM


King Squid's party at Wala Wala on 12th July

Sunday, July 23, 2006

See this bitch in the pearl necklace? That's Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa aka Satan. Vote for her in some "fucked up babe contest" by sending 'Babe 082' to 77977. Each sms is $0.50. You're all also invited to the semi finals this Thursday 27th July at Ministry of Sound at 1930 hours. Now, pick up your fuckin phone and vote.

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 1 comments links to this post

7/23/2006 02:13:00 PM


Burn MotherF*****, Burn

Monday, July 17, 2006

6 fucking 30 on a Friday morning, 4 of the 6 members of The S.C,along with their 2 bodyguards, hoped onto a public bus to Tioman via Pulau Gemok. It was the first time we sat in a bus meant to be shared with commoners and not the beau monde or even the bourgeois. For the first fuckin time since our aristocracy, we felt like normal human beings, thus the laid-back dressing.Trust me, we spent an entire day before the trip packing and unpacking and eventually decided to do without our Jimmy Choos, Blahniks, Guccis, Louis Vuittons and Calvin Kleins. So at 0530 hours on the day of departure, we rang up various boutiques to have their stores opened for us to do som tiny shopping. We emerged with commoner clothes from NewUrbanMale, Bossini, SurferGirl,Billabong,Roxy, Image 2001 etc

Here's one of our bodyguards, Dani. Notice he's no left hand? Sadly, it got chopped off during one of those brawls outside Club Behnachilan,where he works part-time at. We insisted he stay home to rest but he urged us to allow for him to safeguard our safety during our holiday. What a loyal young chap he is.

I had warned these 2 jackshits against having sex the night before the trip as it'll only exhaust them even more but seeing as how tired they were in the boat to Tioman, they didn't heed my advice. Too bad for them, 'cause as they met their little fairies in dreamland-how so unfortunate-the rest of us were at the top deck flying kites, smoking, peeing into the vast ocean and of course lying on the deck half naked tanning as everyone else ogled.The men mostly.

Satan aka Princess Charissa aka yours truly, feeling emo.

"This is the life,man! Chivas, instant noodles, tees and shorts, cheap cigarettes and cheap food! Maybe we should give up our royalty!!"

"I just woke up,bitch!"

Here you see King Squid with our other bodyguard, Sharon.


We combed the entire island for one of those shops where you can post up a memorabilia or some hand print or something for Princess Dawn who couldn't be with us for this holiday but we realised that Tioman has nothing except sand, sea, food, cheap cigarettes, trees, a mediocre massage parlour and a beach bar.So we paid the governor of the island RM50,000 to have this little inscription kept intact and untouched and unwashed(by the sea), in memory of Satan's Pig.

And as we sauntered into the alfresco restaurant, we couldn't help but wander why the fuckin fuck all eyes were on us. Hello! We're humans, not mermaids. Was it our incessant photo-whoring? Our exasperating,almost asthmatic laughter? And Satan hates people gawking or staring or ogling at high degrees so along with King Squid and our bodyguards, we got up from our seats and approached to ask one of the divers who then told us, while the rest of the villagers gathered to listen and some ran away in fright of heaven knows what, that although they're deeply gratifide that we had come to their humble island,they're also afraid that they cant be of shining service to us, serve us in white gold platters, or have chandeliers in our dining area, or have our rooms fitted with a jacuzzi.

Our lovely bodyguards then painted a colorful and vivid picture of our castle here in Behnachilan Island and explained that we wanna experience the life of a civilian. When they told the humble people about how stringent our laws are to ensure safety and good health of our island, they gave us an entire crate of Marlboros! hahaha!!!

So to show them our deepest appreciation, we gave them a picture of our boobies. *ogle ogle*

But Satan, even when in other parts of the world, never failed to make children cry.

She stole the lil' kiddo's ice ball and distributed it to The Satan Confederation.

Dani tried to play Dishwalla's Angels or Devils but King Squid had a sudden burst of angst and decided to compose her own fuckin music. It was titled Burn Motherfucker, Burn. Due to explicit content, the lyrics will not be shown to public. As for the music, hell, if you dont have the lyrics, why hear the music?? The fuckin importance of this particular song lies in the damn lyrics,man! But beg us, and we might just spill the first verse.

Burn Motherfucker, Burn!

And while we were photo-whoring, a sizzling HOT beach hunk walked by and...

Princess Charissa, obviously, was the happy one as they had sex on the beach. Sweet.

After the beach quickie, we walked to the beach bar for cheap boozing...

...which concussed both Satan and Princess Norica aka Satan's Elf. Accordin to Satan, she heard Elf talk in her sleep; saying stuff like she misses a particular so-and-so hairstylist.hmmm...

Breakfast was splendid, scrumptuous, piping hot. Not just 'cause it was on the house.

If you look closely, the guy on the left is the dude Satan had skimpy, tantalising, uninhibited, artistic sex on the beach with.

We syphoned off this vodka collectible from one of the Duty Free shops. And we're not sorry. lovely. Estella, The S.C's sidekick and King Squid.

On board our private coach...

Dejected...3 humble days in Tioman and now we're back to absolutism and higher power. Laws and deportment. Plastic smiles and small talk. Sex and cigarettes. Music and shopping. But all's good. 'Cause we are The Satan Confederation.

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa gives you 10cents.Go call someone who cares. 2 comments links to this post

7/17/2006 09:26:00 PM


The Satan Confederation

Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa aka Satan
Princess Dawn aka Satan's Pig

Princess Norica aka Satan's Elf

King Squid aka Satan's Munky

Contact The S.C

Behnachilan Island

Behnachilan Island is the pride and joy of 4 bitchy, gorgeous and loaded aristocrats who live their lives to the utmost fun and cock-talkin. The name was coined by combining Hokkien(a Chinese dialect) vulgarities most used by each of the 4 and then extracting 1 syllable from each word.

CHEEBEH-most used by Her Royal Highness Princess Charissa
KANINA-most used by Princess Dawn
CHEEBYE-most used by King Squid LANJIAO-most used by Princess Norica

Charissa,aka Satan, spearheaded the breaking away from The Lion City(Singapore),of which she was a member of the Opposition. Along with the help and bitchiness of her good friends, former King Squid of FuckMermaidsForFun Land,former Princess Dawn of Celestial Diamond Republic and former Princess Norica of LivingDeadDolls Kingdom,they formed the island's only political party, The Satan Confederation and governed Behnachilan Island with democracy, diplomacy and righteousness. And of course with a lil' bit of vice.

This blog revolves around the lives of The S.C and the happenings in the island. All in all, we will try to update frequently with juicy stories punctuated with heeps of embellishment and exaggeration.

So, get some lubricant, sit back, position your legs comfortably and let your hands do the talking.

By the way, we're NOT satanic.


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    King Squid| Estella| Princess Dawn| Princess Norica's fetish| Dani| Sharon| rockson tan|

    Our Adopted Charity

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    Do not, under any circumstance, judge The S.C based on information we have provided about ourselves and our rantings in this blog as it may be vague and embellished.

    In no event will we be approached by anyone for their being victimised by our slander or fictitious comments as it was purely for OUR OWN entertainment only.

    Do take note that any similarities in situations or characters are purely coincidental.

    It is of absolute importance that you disregard the perception you might have of us being satanic,as we are fuckin NOT. I repeat, NOT SATANIC!

    Previously on The S.C